Sunday, March 22, 2009

salubrious sanative sapientials

(words i stole from the internet that may make sense, but are more likely to not)

i love college, and i love spring break! sitting on bart right now heading back to the great city of san francisco, and i figured what better a time for reflection-- on a finished and amazing winter quarter, on what's changed and what hasnt, on life as it is and the future as i hope it will soon be.

first things first, miss my girl already! ha! a week, we can do it. i stick to it that sleep is for wimps. i mean, there are so many things to do out there that it really doesnt make sense to sleep any more than we need to. it's nice, and it's often refreshing, but a life of slumber is a life of missed opportunity. this quarter's been wild. been trying new things and some things have worked and are still working fantastically, while others have quietly passed to the background. finals were finals, intense, stressful, you know. i really hope i passed my astronomy class. of all classes to fail, i pray that this is not the first. programming was chill, easy breezy. i feel really good about accounting, and fairly good about econometrics. closing out my quarter internship with the student volunteer center taught me a lot about purpose, having strong and worthy reasons to do things. volunteering isnt about the rewards, it isnt about giving back to the community. volunteering is about having purpose at an individual level, and how that personal reason, that internal force allows you to do more than you could have imagined. do things because YOU want to do them, do whatever YOU enjoy, and live with yourself. with the ability to say f*ckit comes the strength really give a f*ck.

life as it is, amazing. it's crazy how much different i felt going into my last final, it was overcast and bitter, and coming out of my final, sunny and freeeee. my mood swings with the weather and i love it. i was terribly stressed for a second leading up to finals. on the 20 up to campus on wednesday, youd see half kids moping around obviously heading to a test, and half the kids glowing from an afternoon at the beach. it sucked. four finals and what beautiful weather! grind through it. walking outta baskin at 2oclock on friday was insane, nearly a peak experience as ralph would say. called the girl, hopped on the fixed, bought flowers and a sandwich. there's no better way to do it. i love college.

im twenty now, its scary. for one thing, its a pretty freakin big number considering that at ten, i barely new what a fraction was. yes, i measure my growth by how much math i can do, eat it. high school is almost long gone, just because i think so much differently now than i did then. priorities change, things that mattered so much before mean so little now and vice versa. to think, i have to do taxes soon, and get a job, and look for a place to live next year! the thing is, im scared of it, but so not at the same time. now is the time, so there's no better time than now to figure it out. im growing, im learning, and it's fun! having shit to do is now comforting, because the scary thing now is not knowing what to do. there is no right way to live, but the prospect of not doing it right is terrifying. i just want to stay on schedule, learn in time, and not look back with regret. please!

anyway, im sure ill be back blogging at least this week. homies, stay chill and have an awesome spring break. if i dont see you, at least know that im wishing you the best. cheers.

1 comment:

YourBijoux.com said...

Hello "sleepy cat".
The words "salubrious", "sanative" "sapientials" DO have meaning: healthy, sound and wise/wisdom, depending on the context. They are in the original Latin. Look them up, it is very interesting to find out how many words stem from Latin. And I mean the language, not the ethnicity.
Cheers.
B.